She didn't Call

Ok, so this is what happened with the cheating spouse. I never got a call from his wife.

In the last blog post, I mentioned that I would state my position on covering for a cheating spouse. Recall that in my conversation with him, he asked me to tell his wife that I know him from work or school or something. I purposefully talked around it and turned the conversation back on him. I didn’t feel like letting him know my position. Maybe the uncertainty I left with him made him take greater action towards preventing me from receiving a call.

If she would have called, I would have tried to stay out of the middle- somehow. See, this type of situation is always a no winner for the person in my position. I used to always lean towards telling all- feeling that the woman deserves to know what is going on- but I learned that most women don’t want to hear it and they want to blame it all on the other woman. On the other hand, if a woman comes out and says that she doesn’t want to be involved and tells the wife/girlfriend to talk to her man- then the wife/girlfriend thinks that the other woman is hiding something. So, considering this, and with the comments left by visitors on my earlier blog post, I decided that I would have just tried to balance it by being truthful but answering only what I was asked with a minimal response. I would have then asked her to erase my number from his phone.

No matter how it is done, I do believe in being truthful in this type of situation. I can imagine that there may be a different code of conduct for men. Is there more to consider since men have more of a tendency to end these situations violently? (Just look at the R. Kelly videos- what is that? ...let's talk about videos in another blog).

I feel that women and men should revisit how issues of infidelity are resolved with the third party. Women should try to stand together, not against each other. When a man cheats, ultimately, it is the man in the middle that is responsible for the betrayal. When a woman cheats, men should try to walk away. Walk away from confrontation with the other man- is it really worth it for someone that has been disloyal?

We all know this. I am not saying anything new. It just always seems to escape the minds of those that are in the heat of the situation.

Almost forgot to say how it ended!

He called me a few days ago, telling me he was in my area (he lives a ways from where I am staying in Texas). He wanted to know if I wanted to see him and hang out. I couldn’t believe it. Although the last time we talked, he hung up before I could plainly tell him that I did not want to see him again, I didn’t expect to hear from him again after the situation with his wife. This time, I made it very clear.