PART 1- In this segment, I will rate my experience with online dating.
I went online because I was curious to know how many Black people were dating online since it still has a negative reputation in the Black community. Some see it as a sign of desperation, and people always ask me, “Why do you ‘have’ to date online?” I constantly have to explain that it is just an option and actually I rate it a good one.
I was surprised to find so many Black men dating online and was also surprised to find men that seemed to fit what I want in a partner. I found attractive, Black, professional men with pictures of them skiing or hiking in the Himalayas, telling stories of the countries they had traveled… talking about stuff that I like to do! I could sit at my desk, filter out what I didn’t want (such as a smoker, with kids, etc) and specify what I did want (such as over 5’9”, between 27 and 38 ). At first I felt like the process was heartless because I was just sifting through real people with real stories and tossing out profiles based on something that they wrote, didn’t write, or of course their photo. Then I realized that this was exactly what they were doing…that it is just the nature of dating online.
One day I also got curious to see just how many Black women were online with me. I found that there is a greater selection of Black men than Black women online. I have found that more Black men have quietly gone online out of curiosity, sometimes specifically to seek other races while Black women have been more reserved or have gone online as a more convenient way to look for a date as a single parent.
In less than a year, my profile was viewed over 11,000 times. Sounds like a lot, but many men that contacted me, no where near fit the criteria I had listed on my profile! They just tried anyway. Sometimes, I did consider some of them because my perfect mate just may not be what I “think” I want. I looked at men that were a little shorter, a little heavier, a little older, etc. I enjoyed chatting with some of them, and even went out with a few, but it didn’t work out.
I never had any really bad experiences online, because I screen heavily. I find that men lie the most about their height (by an inch or two) and sometimes about their age (by a few years) and women lie the most about their weight. Overall, online dating helped teach me to raise my standards and enjoy being single. I no longer feel like I should lower my standards for some fear of a shortage of Black men that society has lead Black women to believe prevails. Going online helped me realize what so many people say to be true- “you will only attract what you expect to find”. When I starting expecting more- I started getting more. This has translated into my dating life offline. Don’t get me wrong, dating is still a drag sometimes, going through the same information like it is an interview, over and over again- “What do you do?”, “Where did you go to school?”, “Where are you from?”, “What do you like to do?”…blah blah blah. The good thing with online dating is that most of this is already spelled out in a person’s profile and it doesn’t have to be repeated a million times. Dating online also allows me to get to know someone that I probably would not meet otherwise during my daily routine.
UPCOMING POSTS: I will answer this question from ventureheart.com visitors in a blog post in the upcoming week:
Overall, how would you rate your experience with online dating in general and the "Hooking Up" taping experience in particular? PART 2- In this segment, I will rate my experience with taping “Hooking Up”....I think it will be a challenge for you to find that "patient" man. You can have massages, dance provocatively with him on the dance floor, cuddle on the couch but not even a kiss will be exchanged without a commitment to marriage? 
I will share tips with stories about my online experiences- particularly what you didn’t see on Hooking Up.Reisha