Oh, this is going to take more than one blog post to answer.
Overall, I had a good experience with taping “Hooking Up”. There is so much that I learned about filming what critics called a “docu-reality”.
When the ABC NEWS producers approached me, I had no clue that they had interviewed 500 other women. I wasn’t looking to be on television nor did the prospect necessarily excite me. The opportunity to go outside of my comfort zone and challenge myself by trying to take a stab at representing African Americans well was more enticing. I don’t really like reality TV and I only agreed to film Hooking Up because it was a documentary. I also felt more comfortable when I learned that it was the ABC NEWS division heading the project as opposed to the ABC TV division that creates shows such as the Bachelor and Wife Swap. I felt that the NEWS division would be more interested in discovering the truth and creating a genuine documentary.
I can honestly say that the producers had minimal involvement. My thoughts about having my dates filmed are in my blog post “Pressures of Dating on TV”. I was impressed with how they did not want me to behave in anyway different than I would if they were not there.
I have been asked many times how some of the women on the show could do or say something extremely private, personal, or embarrassing on TV. I can completely understand how. There are a few explanations. I will go into one of those reasons in today’s blog post.
First, there is the relationship with the cameraperson. To make us more comfortable opening up, ABC NEWS assigned one cameraperson to follow each of us. I became very close to the person assigned to me. When filming dates, he was directed to come to my apartment while I was still preparing. Although I was always decent, this man was up in my space, all in my business, asking me questions while watching me get ready! He even stopped asking for things, such as the chair hidden behind the couch or a glass of water, and started getting them himself. I didn’t mind whatsoever but it was quite strange that he was in my apartment so much to feel at home so quickly. Let’s not mention the process of putting on the microphone! I had to place this thing up under my shirt (privately) but then we constantly had to have conversations about the position of the microphone with respect to my bra and bosoms (for sound quality purposes). Then, after each date, I had to get this thing out of my bra, sometimes while he shielded me on a New York City sidewalk! Other times, he went back home with me to hang out and ask more questions.
It didn’t stop there. During the week he always called for updates. So, unlike talking to a girlfriend who wasn’t on my date, he was actually there…so he knew both sides of the story. Opening up to him was an experience unlike any other. He spent more time with me and knew more about me than anyone else at that moment in my life. At times he almost felt more like my man than the person I was dating! I am certain that the other women felt similarly about their assigned cameraperson. This bond or friendship commonly overpowered the concern for the small handheld camera sitting on that person’s shoulder. Not to mention, our cameraperson was with us from several months to a year. After a while, it just became too difficult to filter out real emotions and real actions.
Although I sincerely enjoyed working with my cameraperson, I was always acutely aware of his intentions for building our relationship. So, I didn’t fall into a fall sense of “real” friendship. I always knew that at the end of the day, he was there to do a job and that the direction of the television network would come above any of my interests. I am not so certain that some of the other women kept this in mind as I sensed that some may have felt betrayed in the end when footage was shown that they forgot was filmed or didn’t expect to be portrayed in an unflattering matter.
So, I mentioned that there were THREE reasons as to how someone on the show could do or say something extremely private, personal, or embarrassing on TV. I will address the other two reasons in posts upcoming this week.